Dangers of Internet Dating

I will admit it: I spend at least 55 percent of my waking hours on a device, whether it’s my laptop, my tablet, my phone, or the television. In fact, I have worked hard to reduce the time spent on a device to this amount. Part of me is ashamed to admit the time I spend on devices, but another part of me realizes that I am probably like every other American in this regard.

It makes sense that most singles looking for love connect to their devices for the answer. For some, connecting to others through their device is a faster, quicker means to an end, while for others who struggle with social anxiety, internet dating provides a safer place to be their authentic selves. It is hard to tell the exact amount of dating websites out there and estimates suggest that the most well-known dating apps have millions of daily users, and some apps even claim to foster billions of matches. But what does this really mean for forging longstanding connections?

While I am not suggesting that all online dating is not or cannot be successful for some, I am considering the opportunity cost and opportunities lost for those who are not that lucky. In both my personal and professional life, I have heard of a plethora of experiences where people have joined multiple apps and pay for professionally crafted profiles yet have limited success. While others match quickly and date frequently, but nothing happens beyond the first date.

The reality is that all people are seeking the same thing: connections that last. While internet dating is one point of discovery for new relationships, there is danger when it becomes the only point of discovery. Only online dating poses risk of increased isolation, increased social anxiety, missing out on other experiences that might be equally rewarding, and losing the opportunity to join communities outside of your online network.
To get the most of your dating experience, whether online or not, it is important to consider other ways of meeting people so that in the event you don’t find your romantic partner you at least have an opportunity to find a friendship, community, or have an exhilarating experience.

Some places where you can find and create connections that matter include:

• Professional Affinity Groups
• Religious Communities
• Fitness Centers. Many fitness centers are now emphasizing a community-like atmosphere and a social component.
• Audit a class at a local university
• Join a junior board position ( you can support a good cause at the same time)
• Find something you are passionate about and volunteer
• Never say “no” to a social gathering. If you don’t want to go, go for at least 15 minutes. You never know when it will be worth it.
• Get a pet. Dog parks are always a good place to meet people. Cats are also good companions.
• Have a game night and have each of your friends invite someone you don’t already know.
• Join Toastmasters
• Create personal goals that take you out of your comfort zone at least twice a month.
• Go to free events such as store openings, art gallery shows, community talks.

Are you someone who suffers from social anxiety and find internet dating and creating connections difficult? If so please call 347-395-3517 for a free 15 minute phone consultation.